


I'll Be Watching Over You

by kara-danvers-lena-luthor (Mesk)



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-31 04:50:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10892067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mesk/pseuds/kara-danvers-lena-luthor
Summary: It finally dawns on Alex that she won't outlive Kara, and with Lena's help, they start working on something that might ease Kara's loneliness when the time comes.





	1. Chapter 1

It dawns on her days after a particularly rough mission. She had been hurt, nothing that had ever bothered her before, but it was days later and Alex could still see the bruises all over her body.

That day she walks into the bathroom and takes a hard look at herself, noticing wrinkles and expression marks where, not too long ago, there was nothing but smooth skin. Sighing heavily, Alex picks up her phone, and clicks on the name of the person she wants to speak with.

“Lena? It’s Alex. I need a favor.”

They start working on it then; every week Lena and Alex meet up, and work on their project for hours on end.

Years pass; Alex reluctantly makes the transition from field agent to Director once J’onn decides to step down from his position to be a full-time member of the Justice League. He assures her that she is ready, and that she will do great, and for once, Alex doesn’t doubt that.

She starts going less and less into the field. Over the years, Kara has grown so much, thinking before she acts, taking the time to ask for Alex’s opinion or assistance before jumping into a problem. Alex knows she has done right by Kara, and she could not be prouder of the woman and hero she has become.

Until one day, Alex feels a throbbing pain in her chest, and she only has enough time to call out Maggie’s name before her vision blurs, and she falls unconscious on the floor.

Maggie knows her right procedures, and even though she can’t imagine how panicked her wife was to find her like that, Alex knows she remembered what to do, because she wakes up at the DEO medical bay, not the general hospital.

Kara is there, alongside Maggie, but when the doctor comes in to explain to Alex what happened to her, Alex asks them both to leave, and she instructs the doctors to turn on the device that unables Kara to listen in.

“It’s the kryptonite, Director Danvers.” The doctor explains with a pained expression on her face, the expression that had set off the alarms on Alex’s mind, and made her ask Maggie and Kara to leave. “It wasn’t until very recently that we started studying the effects it has on humans. We had no reason to, but it acts like any other nuclear element, it slowly poisoned you over the years… I-I’m sorry, Director, but y-you don’t have too much time…”

Alex swallows hard, tears streaming down her face. “You cannot tell Kara. Do you understand?”

The doctor is surprised by that, she expected denial, anger, fear….but she did not foresee see the director putting her sister’s feelings before her own. “O-Of course, Director. What do you wish to tell her? What about your wife?”

“I…” Alex’s voice fails her, and she swallows hard again around the knot that is forming in her throat. “I’ll tell her the truth. P-Please, ask Maggie to come in first.”

Alex can hear Kara arguing at the door, but something Maggie says to her calms her down, because suddenly Alex can’t hear her anymore.

The frightened look on Maggie’s face is more heart-breaking to Alex than the news she had just received, and it only gets worse when the doctor explains to Maggie that there is no cure.

Denial.

Anger.

Fear.

The doctor gets plenty of each of those from Maggie, and it takes every ounce of self-restraint she has in her body to not storm out and do take everything she is feeling out on Kara, because if it weren’t for her, Alex would be as healthy as ever, and she would get to grow gray and old with the love of her life.

“You can’t tell her either, Maggie.” Alex says meekly, trying to reach out to take her wife’s hand.

Maggie lets Alex hold her hand, but she looks even more upset than before. “Why not? She did this to you! She needs to know!”

Alex can’t stop crying; somehow, she feels like she’s letting everyone down. “It’s not her fault, Maggie, you know that. You’re angry and sacred, and I am too, but I need you to do this for me, okay? Please?”

“Damn it, Danvers.” Maggie smiles painfully through her sobs, because she just can’t believe this is happening. “I thought we were gonna become the old ladies down the street…the old lesbian couple with all the cats…” Another sob wrecks Maggie’s body, and she falls over, laying half her body on top of her wife’s. “I can’t do this without you, Alex, I c-can’t…”

Alex runs her fingers through Maggie’s hair, and somehow, it feels like it’s the first time she is doing that; Alex doesn’t know if there’s an afterlife, she just in case there is, she tries to commit to memory how soft Maggie’s hair feels against her skin as she runs her fingers through them. “You can, and in time you will, Maggie, because you’re strong, stronger than everyone I know…including Kara.” Alex gently pulls on Maggie’s shoulder to get her to look at her. “She can’t know, Maggie. Losing me will be hard enough, but if she finds out it’s because of the kryptonite, she won’t forgive herself, and I’m afraid of what that might do to her.”

They talk for a few more minutes until they hear an impatient knock on the door, and they know it’s Kara.

“I’ll come back later, okay?” Maggie promises, placing a sweet kiss to Alex’s forehead. “and I’ll bring you some clothes from home.”

Maggie leaves, and at that very same second, Kara is by Alex’s side, holding her hand. Alex can see Kara moving her mouth, she knows her sister is talking to her, but all Alex can do is notice how Kara hasn’t aged a single day; she still looks exactly like that clumsy girl who managed to save her plane from crashing down. Kara has matured, but she hasn’t aged, and part of Alex resents her for that; for being nearly indestructible, for being able to do so many extraordinary things, for not having to worry too much about not going back to her own wife after a tough fight.

And because the rock that Alex spent her entire life protecting Kara from is ultimately her own downfall.

“Alex? Alex? Can you hear me?” Kara’s voice brings Alex back to the present, and in the back of her mind she chastises herself for letting those old feelings resurface; feelings that she has already dealt with. 

“Yes, I’m sorry, Kara, I can. I’m here.”

“Alex, what’s going on? I’m scared.” Kara doesn’t know what’s happening yet, but Maggie left crying so she knows it’s something bad.

“I’m sorry, Kara…” Alex starts crying again; that knot in her throat seeming ten times bigger now. “I-I…I won’t be around for much longer…”

“No!!” A sob wrecks Kara’s body, and she shakes her head refusing to believe her sister. “No, no, no, Alex…. No! Not you…I can’t lose you too!” the words come out strained, her voice high in despair.

“Kara…”

“No!” Kara says firmly, holding her hand up to stop Alex. “I-I’ll talk to Lena, okay? She- She’ll figure something out! She has to!”

“Kara,” Alex tries again, pushing herself up to try to sit up, but she’s stopped short as pain shoots through her chest, and she winces louder than she would have liked.

The sound halts Kara’s panic attack; she knows her sister too well, she knows that a healthy Alex Danvers would never let herself wince like that. “Please,” Kara’s voice is softer, sounding almost calm, “Don’t try to sit up, you need to rest.” Kara tells herself she can panic later, but now she’ll do her best to remain calm for her sister.

Alex wants to scoff, she wants to say, “I’m not dead!” But she will be soon, and neither of them needs the reminder so she doesn’t put up a fight.

Kara sits next to Alex on the bed, and taking a calming breath, she asks, “What exactly did the doctor say?”

Alex recites the lie she rehearsed with the doctor, a convincing story about an alien element she came in contact with during her last field mission, and how they are still trying to figure out what the element is, and only then will they be able to start studying its effects and how to reverse them.

“The best lies are laced with hints of truth, doctor.” Alex said with a sad smile; after a lifetime of lying, Alex knows too damn well what works and what doesn’t.

“And- and…” Kara stutters, trying her best to dry every tear falling from her eyes. “And h-how long d-do you have?” She has to bite her lip at the of the question to keep a whimper from escaping her.

Alex’s cool façade breaks for a second, and she wants to grab Kara’s hands, she wants to sink her fingernails into her sister’s skin, and scream at the top of her lungs that she is not ready to go; that there are still so many things she hasn’t done, so many places she hasn’t had the chance to take Maggie to. Alex wants to scream. She wants to admit to her sister that she is terrified, that she doesn’t want to suffer, that she’s scared to her very core.

But Alex Danvers never puts herself before anyone.

She swallows her pain.

She pushes her fear down.

And she replies, “The doctor isn’t sure. It could be a week, it could be a month… They have no way to be sure…”

Kara may be the girl of steel, she may be the hero that never physically bends or breaks, but she is not as strong as Alex, she has never been. A disgruntled noise boils from the pit of her stomach, and makes its way up, forcing Kara to double over as the sound escapes her mouth, leaving her a sobbing mess in front of her sister.

“You are going to be okay, Kara.” Alex says through her own tears. “I need to be strong for me, I need you to look after Maggie when I’m gone. She will try to push you away, but remind her that she is a Danvers too, and we, Danvers, look after our own, okay? Promise me, Kara. I need you to promise you won’t let her feel alone.”

Kara only cries harder, because of course her sister isn’t thinking of herself even in a time like this. “I promise, I promise.” Kara repeats over and over again.

“Good.” Alex smiles softly.

“But we can try to fight this, Alex! There has to be a way!” Kara insists.

“Kara…” Alex lets her gaze drop. “I don’t think we can fight our way out of this one…”

Another heartbreaking sob escapes Kara’s lips, and she lays down next to Alex, holding her until Maggie comes back.

That night, National City residents feel the ground shake as Kara takes out her anger, her fear, and her frustration by leveling a mountain or two on the outskirts of the city.


	2. Chapter 2

About a week later, all Alex’s tests seem to please the doctor. “I want to go home, Maggie. I can’t take being in her much longer.” Alex protests. “The doctor said she can discharge me, that I can do whatever I want to.” With the time I have left is left unsaid.

“Babe-” Maggie begins, only to be stopped by Alex.

“I want to go surfing one more time. You know how long it took me to be able to get back in the water after what Rick did to me… I want to feel the sun on my skin, the sand between my toes, and the waves lapping at my legs…” Alex says with this dreamy look in her eyes.

And how can Maggie say no to her?

“Alright, alright, Danvers.” Maggie relents, clearing her throat to try to mask how broken her voice actually sounds. “No need for the puppy-eyes, we already have Gertrude for that.”

The mention of their dog’s name makes Alex smile and laugh.

“I will take you to the beach, love, and you can show off to me again, okay?” Maggie grins, coming her fingers through Alex’s hair, looking at her wife with nothing but pure love. “Remember our honeymoon?” she asks, chuckling at the memory, “You were showing off that surfboard, and when you came ashore again I grabbed and kissed you like my life depended on it?”

Alex grins, “I remember that. You said you were turned on by my mad skills.”

Maggie chuckles again. “You’re such a nerd, Danvers!” But then her features sober up a little, and she says, “Your skills weren’t the only reason why I kissed you like that… While you were surfing, a few girls stopped to watch you, and I could hear them talking about how hot you looked on that board.”

“Maggie Sawyer!!” Alex gasps playfully. “You were jealous!!!!”

Maggie laughs, and nods. “I was! But-” she sighs, looking at Alex like she hangs the starts and the moon in the sky. “But you never even noticed them… you came straight to me, and you picked me up, spinning me around as we kissed, and I remember thinking that I would never have imagined I would feel like my life was a romantic movie, but you made me feel like that Alex.” Maggie’s voice breaks, and she takes a shaky breath. “Y-You gave me a better life than I could ever have asked for, and I know you always thank me for helping you figure yourself out, but I don’t know if I’ve thanked you enough for saving me; for making me believe again that I deserve to be happy. And I am. I’m the happiest by your side.”

Alex is crying happy tears, and she is about to say something when a real gasp escapes her lips, and everything turns black.

Alex never gets the chance to surf again.

Her health takes a turn for the worse, deteriorating fast, but Alex keeps holding on intending on finishing the project she started with Lena all those years ago.

They start having more visits, and no one questions them, because Alex and Lena have become quite close over the years, and Kara believes Alex is giving Lena the same kind of talks she gave her, instructing Lena on how to look after Kara after Alex is gone.

Neither Kara or Maggie leave the DEO longer than they absolutely need to, and they take turns staying with Alex as to not overwhelm her. James and Lucy come visit Alex as often as they can, and so does J’onn. Winn, much like Kara, can barely hold it together whenever he visits Alex. He has become an honorary Danvers, the little brother Alex and Kara never had.

It’s another week when the doctor tells Kara and Maggie to say their goodbyes, because Alex might go at any moment. They cry together outside the room, and they pull themselves back together again before they go inside.

Alex smiles when she sees them. “My favorite girls.” She rasps out weakly.

“You’ve really gone soft on me, Danvers.” Maggie says softly, trying to smile, but Alex notices the ‘sad simple’; the dimple that only appears on her wife’s cheeks when she’s sad, and Alex thinks she has seen that dimple way too many times in the last month or so.

Taking her sister’s hand, Kara asks softly, “Is there anything we can do, Alex? Anything you want?”

Her eyes tell Kara that she wants the reassurance of living to have another day with them, but Alex just smiles tiredly, and says, “I want to go to the beach one last time.”

“Alex, I don’t think-” Kara stops short, and shares a glance with Maggie who nods discreetly. “Okay.” She relents. “Let me bundle you up first, the sun is just coming up.”

They get ready, and Kara flies out carrying Alex, while a DEO agent drives Maggie to the beach Kara is headed.

Alex takes in the view of National City as the first rays of sunlight slowly wash over each building. She can’t help but remember the first time Kara took her flying, and Alex is absolutely sure Kara is thinking about the same thing.

When they land on the beach, Kara carefully sits Alex down before sitting by her side. Maggie is a couple of minutes behind, but she will soon join them.

“You know…” Alex starts slightly out of breath. “I always knew I…was going to…live an amazing life…but then… you came along…and made m-my life….extraordinary.” Alex feels Kara’s strong arm pull her closer, and she sighs contently, feeling her sister’s warmth sip through the many layers she is wearing. “A-And not because of your….powers…”

“Because I’m so extra?” Kara chuckles through the tears that are already streaming down her face.

Alex chuckles meekly, and she continues, “That too…but because o-of your heart…Kara. D-Don’t let…anything…turn your hurt…into stone…. P-Promise me?”

“I promise I’ll try, Alex.” Kara says honestly, just as Maggie joins them, wrapping an arm around Alex’s waist.

“You two…” Alex says, holding one of Maggie’s hands and one of Kara’s. “You two, my favorite people…in the world…you made l-life worth…fighting for…”

“You made our lives worth fighting for too, baby.” Maggie says shakily, “W-We wouldn’t be who we are if it weren’t for you.”

“W-We love you.” Kara chokes out.

“Yes, we love you.” Maggie echoes with trembling lips, and wet eyes.

“And I love you.” Alex sighs as contently as she can possibly be, and they fall quiet, enjoying each other’s presence while watching the sun rise above the water, making the sky turn from red, to orange, and finally yellow.

Just then, Maggie is startled by a long, gut-wrenching, heartbreaking yell from Kara, and two laser-beams are shot at the sea, turning water into mist.

And Maggie knows.

She knows Kara can’t hear Alex’s heartbeat anymore.

Kara is heaving, eyes still bright red with her heat-vision, but she keeps a steady and protective arm around her sister’s body.

Tears are streaming down Maggie’s face, and part of her brain believes this is all some terrible nightmare, and she just needs to pinch herself hard enough to wake up; but the logical part of her is painfully aware of how real this is, and that they need to get Alex back to the DEO. Later on she’ll drink herself into stupor, she’ll drink until her body feels as fake as a reality without Alex Danvers seems, but right now Maggie leans to the side and presses a kiss to Alex’s temple, whispering, “Goodbye, babygirl. I’ll see you on the other side.”


	3. Chapter 3

The flight back to the DEO is nothing but a blurry haze in Kara’s mind, but she’ll never forget the moment she walked in through the balcony door carrying Alex in her arms, because the agent who drove Maggie had already informed the other agents, and they were all waiting for her, for their brave leader, with their heads bowed showing respect through their silence.

The only sound that could be heard in the entire DEO was Winn sobbing loudly, fighting to breathe, while James consoled him in hushed words.

The service and the funeral go by in a stunned haze for Maggie and Kara; they remember shaking the hands of so many people, even meeting every member of the Justice League, but the only one who matters is J’onn.

With tears rolling down his cheeks, he sings a beautiful Martian prayer, before Kara takes his hand, and recites the Kryptonian prayer for the dead.

“You have been the sun of our lives.” She starts, biting her lip, and shaking her head, forcing herself to continue. “Our prayers will be the sun the lights your way on the journey h-home.” Kara’s voice breaks, and part of her wants to scream at Rao, because Alex’s home is with her! How dare he take Alex away from her? But Kara knows she must finish the prayer, “We will remember you in every dawn, and await the night to join you in the sky. Rao’s will be done.”

Later that day, Kara walks into Maggie and Alex’s apartment with Maggie, and she watches as her sister-in-law takes a few steps further in, carrying the folded flag of their country clutched close to her chest, and Maggie breaks down, falling to her knees. “I can’t do it…” She sobs, feeling Kara immediately envelop her into a hug, rocking her gently. “I can’t stay here without her, Kara, I can’t…”

“You don’t have to… you don’t have to.” Kara whispers softly, and gently picks Maggie up, flying her over to the apartment she shares with Lena; at that moment, Kara doesn’t care if someone sees her flying in normal clothes, all she cares about is comforting the woman her sister loved with all her heart.

With some reluctance, Maggie agrees to stay over with Kara and Lena until she feels ready to go back.

A couple of days later, Lena walks into the living room pulling a metal suitcase behind her, and she’s met with quizzical looks from Kara and Maggie. “I’ve got something I need to show you.” She starts, kneeling to open the case. “Alex and I were working on a project together, but she didn’t want to tell either of you until…” Lena stops herself, and shakes her head. “I respected her wishes, but now it’s time you knew.” She takes one of two metallic cylinders from the suitcase and places it on the coffee table in front of Maggie and Kara.

Biting her lip, Lena takes a deep breath, and turns the device on, making a life-size hologram of Alex appear in front of them.

“Kara, Maggie. Please, don’t get mad at Lena for not telling you about this, she was only being a good friend to me.” Alex’s voice fills the apartment while Kara and Maggie stare at the hologram in mix of complete shock and awe.

“What’s this, Luthor?” Maggie asks, getting up from the couch, pacing back and forth as her arms protectively wrap around herself. “Is this some kind of Star Wars, ‘Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi’, shit?”

Before Lena can answer, the hologram laughs softly, and says, “Didn’t I tell you she would say something like that, Lena?”

Maggie is astounded by the reply, her emotions going all over the place, because she just heard that sweet laughter she thought she would never get to hear again.

“It’s not a recorded message, not exactly.” Kara explains, standing as well, but instead of pacing, she steps closer to the hologram, and smiles at Alex. “If I’m correct, it’s what humans would call an AI, but programmed with Alex’s memories, mannerisms, rationale…basically, Alex’s essence.” Turning to her wife, Kara asks, “How long were you two working on this?”

“We started a little before you and I got married,” Lena says with a little smile. “So, close to ten years.”

Maggie lets out a surprised gasp, eyes going wide. “W-Why would she do this?” she stutters as her mind races to keep up with everything that is happening.

“Because I know Kryptonians age much slower than humans… I knew I wouldn’t live longer than Kara, and I didn’t want to leave her alone.” The hologram explains.

Maggie nods, and lowers her head, “So… this is for Kara?” she asks quietly.

“No.” Lena replies quickly. “There’s one for you too, Maggie. Alex made me swear I’d make two devices. Yours is in the suitcase.”

Kara listens, and she has a feeling Maggie isn’t talking about the number of devices made. Looking sadly at Lena for a second, Kara looks back at Maggie, saying barely above a whisper, “Alex knew I’m probably going to outlive everyone we know right now…I…” Kara bites her lip, and fidgets with the band of her watch. “I might live for hundreds of years for all we know… One by one, I’ll lose each of you… I guess- I guess Alex just wanted to make sure I won’t be so alone when that happens.”

Maggie considers what Kara just said, and she reflects on how painful it will be to lose loved ones again, and again… Sighing, and drying the corner of her eyes, Maggie says, “I’m sorry, Kara, I didn’t mean to get-” but Kara holds her hand up to stop her.

“It’s okay… I’m pretty sure I’d react the same way if I were you.”

Lena closes the suitcase, and rolls it closer to Maggie. “This one is yours.” She says, offering her a sympathetic smile, and she’s surprised when Maggie pulls her into a tight hug, whispering, “Thank you.”

A few hours later, after Maggie retires to her bedroom, Lena kisses Kara, telling her she will be waiting for her in their bedroom.

Kara watches Lena walk away, and then she turns the hologram back on.

“Hey, Kara.” Alex’s voice makes Kara feel like her heart I being squeezed in a tight grip. “You’ll never be truly alone, Kara. I’ll make sure of that.” The hologram says, holding up her hand.

With tears streaming down her cheeks, but with a small, tentative smile tugging at the corner of her lips, Kara steps closer to Alex’s hologram, and slowly brings her own hand up to meet Alex’s. Somehow, her hand doesn’t go through it like it had happened when Kara first tried to touch her mother’s hologram; somehow, it almost feels like Kara is touching glass, and it doesn’t matter to her that it feels sort of cold, because Kara can imagine Alex is on the other side of that glass, and the thought brings her some comfort.

“Thank you.” Kara says, smiling at her sister. “Thank you for looking out for me even after…”

Alex shakes her head, but she’s smiling as well. “I’m your older sister, Kara. I’ll always watch over you.”


End file.
